The blog has been quiet for the past 6 months. Yes, 6 months!!! A lot has happened since August.
The birth of our son, Aiden. Being new parents.
Let’s backtrack a little. Last October, I went into labor early and due to a few complications ended up having a c-section. The news of an unplanned c-section was quite overwhelming. I have never had any surgery. Working at the hospital did not prepare me for being on the other side, being a patient myself. The smell of my flesh burning and having those surgeons mucking around down there were beyond terrifying. Before I knew it, our son was pulled out. His loud cry brought me to tear. It was beautiful and reassuring. Aiden was all right. He was handed to Vu while I was being patched up. I got a glimpse of our baby but could not hold him. Hours later, I was transferred to a private room from the post op area.
I saw Aiden for the first time. One look and I was lovestruck. Mesmerized by his tiny facial features. Those delicate fingers. Those little toes. His breaths. His strong, rhythmic heartbeats. I vividly remember them through the doppler during my OB visits but they sounded even more beautiful with my ear pressed against his chest. Just hours before, he was trying to make his way into the world. Finally he was in my arms.. My heart overflowed with joy. I took it all in, this little miracle that we were blessed with.
That night, our journey as new parents began. The high of the delivery wore off and sheer exhaustion creeped in as Vu and I woke up every two to three hours for diaper change and feeding. After four days, we got the ok to go home.
Those first few weeks were rough as we learned to care for our newborn. He was always screaming and crying and nothing we did would appease him. Many times, both Vu and I were beyond ourselves. I found myself in tears many nights, questioning my ability as a mother. As my doctor aptly put it, having a baby is not only a shock to your body but your mind, and no amount of parenting books or classes can prepare you for becoming a parent. Sleep deprivation and constant worries established their permanent presence and simple things like preparing a meal or showering became a luxury. Becoming a parent is one of the most sudden and dramatic transformations of adult life. We couldn’t have made it through those difficult few months without the love and support of friends and family. While parenthood is plagued with many challenges, it also comes with immense joy. The joy of seeing our baby grows and develops. His gummy smile. His infectious laugh. The way he reaches out his arms for us. All the precious moments and milestones forever imprinted in our memory.